G'day folks

I’ve finally worked it out. My so-called broadband-which-isn’t-really-it’s-dial-up internet connection – if such a lumbering, clunking thing over which it is impossible to upload even the shortest video clip in less than an hour really merits the name ‘connection’ – thinks I’m in Australia. Or if not in the country itself, then its environs. (Does Australia have environs?)

This explains why
a) I can see all the websites (including this one) which I’m not supposed to be able to see from China, and yet my VPN which I purchased for this express purpose before leaving the UK doesn’t work, implying there’s a proxy server somewhere;
b) when I went to renew my anti-virus software the other day, the price came up in dollars. I assumed it meant US dollars and went to the drop-down box where it said ‘Change currency’ – and the two options it gave me were Australian dollars or New Zealand dollars. Big choice there, then.
c) when I try to find out what’s happening in Neighbours, I can’t get off the Australian version of the site no matter how hard I try, so all the storylines are three months ahead – though annoyingly it won’t let me actually watch the videos. But I DO know that Libby…. oh no, I couldn’t possibly tell.

So I say good on ya, cobber, to my Chinese landlords, who must have had the same devious idea as me and set up something to bypass the blockade. I’m SLIGHTLY annoyed at having forked out £20 for a VPN which is effectively redundant. I suppose I can use it in hotels, but usually their internet connections are unrestricted anyway. Still, my fault for being hyper-efficient and buying it in advance rather than waiting till we got here to see if we actually needed it.

By the way, thanks to all for your emails and comments on this blog. I really do appreciate them and apologise for not responding. It’s just that what with having to connect the modem and dial up every time as if it was – God – 1998 or something! [snorts in contempt], and needing to communicate with Peter who’s been in the UK all week, I’ve just not really got round to it. But I’m thrilled you’re all reading, and I never intended this to be one-way communication so I promise I’ll make a better effort. Claire, I’m glad I made you laugh but I was deadly serious about the face creams! Congrats to Rachael & Jake. Arno, actually I miss Polwarth – a bit! Lucy, are you out there?

Just going to crack open a can of Foster’s and put another shrimp on the barby.